10. First Crotch To Be Blurred
I can’t wait to see how many times per show, we see a blurred crotch shot. Las Vegas has the over/under @ 3 and I like the over. I don’t care if it’s from a drunk Snooki or J-WWOW in one of her signature whore outfits.
9. First Invitation To Ravioli Night Rescinded
I can’t wait for The Situation to cooks one of his famous family dinners and then go off on someone for not properly thanking him for cooking such a wonderful meal.
8. First Gorilla Sighting
I can’t wait for the World Wildlife Fund (who is committed to endangered species) to officially boycott MTV, The Jersey Shore & Miami for the unfair use of the word Gorilla. Psyched for the Gorilla Juice Heads!
7. First Ugly Whore To Get Banged
I can’t wait to scream NOOOOOO at my TV when Pauly D is making out with a toothless, bleach-blonde cokehead. It also appears that both Snooki & Angelina bang Vinnie so I look forward to gagging at that nightmare. The Jersey Shore had some trash but Miami should attract America’s finest fame whores. Think Rock of Love skank.
6. First Dance by Ronnie
I can’t wait for Ronnie to start convulsing on the dance floor – forget the fist pumping, Ronnie’s steroids may shrink his balls but they’ve yet to impair his dance moves.
5. First Miami Hot Tub Session
I can’t wait to see them sitting, puking, making fun of girls, banging in the hot tub. Can you imagine the STD’s in that thing? I hope the good folks at MTV shocked that shit.
4. First Bar Fight
I can’t wait for the people of Miami to be douche bags to these douche bags. Truthfully, I just want to see the sucker punches at the club and the post-fight analysis from Paulie D.
3. First Time Vinnie Acknowledges That He Banged Snookie
I can’t wait for the moment that this kid realizes he F’ed Snookie. How does “nice guy” Vinnie smoosh Snickas. I just hope the MTV cameras were all over him the morning after it happened.
2. First Cat Fight
From the preview below, this season is loaded with some female TKO’s that Don King would be proud of.
1. First Time The Situation Talks About Himself
I can’t wait to see this jerkoff supply us all with some new material about his relentless pursuit of vagina – God Bless him!
What did I miss?