Dear women of Planet Earth,
I started to think about how important your role and power is in life. No I am being serious, the decision of who to sleep with and more importantly to procreate with is a powerful one. I then started to watch a shitload of reality TV while hung over and began to think about the next generation. The next generation who will ultimately care for me when I have old low hanging balls. The next generation who might very well be “the son of The Situation” or the daughter of Paris Hilton. Think about how horrible they will be and how we will have to hear about Paris’s child being arrested for DUI. Now think about the fringe Reality TV and their stupid kids, The Bachelor #5 or that kid from Road Rules #13 who I swear that I’ve never seen before. It’s gonna be an awful society unless you women make a pact that you will not sleep with any Reality TV stars – none of them. No Colby from Survivor, no Cyrus from The Real World and No Bill from The Apprentice. Are we clear? Don’t sleep with any of these morons because you want to tell your friends or on a dare – bad idea and society is counting on you.
Now for those of you who say “what about the female reality stars?” If we limit the new population to the females reality stars, we are doing all we can to increase our chances of having a somewhat normal society. There is nothing we can do for them (note to self: draft letter to reality star producers and ask them to stop casing women)
So to summarize, I am counting on all of you bitches to do the right thing and just say no