The Real Douche Bags of Orange County: The Husbands

While I have not conducted a formal study on the topic, I have recently noticed that all of the women on The Real Housewives have one thing in common. They are all married to total douche bags. Let’s take a quick tour:

Slade
Is a comment really necessary? First, his last name is Smiley. Second, he’s as unlikable as they come and could raise a ton of money for charity with a “Kick Slade in the Nuts for Haiti” booth. Then there is the fact that he did this (see pic below) on camera which I read as casting a request to be enshrined in the Bravo Douche Bag Hall of Fame

Simon
He gets a 0 for personality and a 10 for douche bag that most closely resembles Jeffrey Dahmer. He’s the ultimate angry, controlling dick. I can guarantee that he and Tamara have had a “Silence of the Lambs” night – it rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.

Don
Now I cut this douche a break for putting up with Vicki “I was hit repeatedly in the face with the back of ax” Gunvalson. At some point though I have to wonder what his problem is. I think it’s the combination of fake smile, alcoholic tendencies and missing ball sac.

Gina’s Husband – Matt
I realize there is a brain injury to contend with but come on. This guy is a total shithead and is mean to the core. Let’s get meds going for this guy and lock him up. I also get the feeling that he was a douche before the accident.

New husband – JIM BELLINO

This is the guy I want to fight. He’s a fat, greasy douche bag who dresses like he is still going to Club Douche.


Lynn’s Husband – Frank Curtin

He’s the harmless, clueless douche. He’s the type of guy that you call a douche to his face and he smiles because he doesn’t know what you mean. Franks a good shit, forehead like a monster truck.

So if you want to be cast as the next Housewife, please make sure your husband is a total douche as it unfortunately counts.

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One thought on “The Real Douche Bags of Orange County: The Husbands

  1. I wouldn’t say all the men of thr RHOC are douche bagds, Slade’s not even a husband. Slade is a douchebag. Simon i a part time douche bag, but amra th other half douche bag She is evil too. unhappy, jealous & snooty. Her divorce & downfall was deserved.
    Don has no balls & lets Vicki pussy whip him & lets her dominate him too, its his fault, hes a submissive douche. Vicki’s augly, evil, female douche bag, dont even get me started on her.
    Jim, is controlling, but he is not a bad man,.Thats the the way the Bellino’s live & thry are still the most down to earth, sincere couple of the RHOC.
    Jeana’s husband, Matt, is a loser douchebag, 2 DUI’S
    & being abusive to her & she still stayed with him.

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