How Twitter Fucked @Southwestair in the Ass with Kevin Smith’s Dick

Fatty Kevin Smith was recently removed from his Southwest Airlines flight to LA and asked to buy a second seat as he did not comfortably fit into the single seat. Smith responded by taking his complaints to to Twitter and quickly ignited a discussion about fat people, twitter customer service and douche antics that Smith is known for. As we are sleuths, we decided to focus our story on the little hussy that is the voice of Southwest Airlines – she’s an Aries who loves tigers and shirts that show off her boobs.

Here’s how I think it all went down:

1. See fat man board plane

2. See SW flight attendant decide to make fat man buy 2nd ticket because she is working on V Day and is miserable.

3. See Fat Man get embarrassed.

4. SW Flight Attendant fails to eyeball Fat Man as a Twitter maniac who traditionally has fancied himself a writer, thinker, thought leader, smartass.

5. See Fat Man lash out at SW on Twitter

6. See SW start operation – WTF is Twitter?

7. Emergency meeting called at SW headquarters.

Here are our 3 Questions that we think were asked in the internal emergency meeting that probably took place today at Southwest Airlines:

1. What the F is this Twitter thing again?

2. Who the F is Silent Bob?

3. Why is a young female whose avatar has her sexually posing in a plane turbine acting as our corporate voice?

I wish I was in the room when a bunch of execs are shown this picture and told that she is the woman handling their corporate Twitter account:

Don’t get me wrong, I am glad that they have a Twitter account, glad she has a job but speaking for the company is a responsibility that she simply should not have.

Congrats on being the #1 Douche Bag Airlines and please feel free to use this slogan for free:

Southwest Airlines – Where Fat Douche Bags Don’t Fly Free

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