By now, we are all fascinated with the train wreck that is the Jersey Shore. Especially here at the DBJ as, lets face it, this is like the virgin mary of douche-bags coming into our living room on a silver platter. Last night Ronnie got into a fight, sorry, worked some drunk schmuck into a pulp of asshole goo. And you know what? He did it with utmost class and respect by following the ” MAN CODE.” Let me explain the rules.
Rule number 1- Avoid
The asshole was obviously looking for a fight in the bar and Ronnie knew it. Ronnie avoided the douche and did nothing.
Rule Number 2- Ignore
As Ronnie leaves the bar the drunk asshole follows him and gets diarrhea mouth. Ronnie ignores. Perfect.
Rule Number 3- Check Yo Bitch
First off, as every guy knows, girls are the cause of 99% of fights. You have to check your bitch to make sure she isn’t fanning the flames. Sammi Sweatheart instigated the fight by running her “man tube” hole. Ronnie told her to shut it and even tried to move her away from the bald dick. (Look closely at the tape, Sammi was moving towards the blond bitch and the bald guy as if she was gonna throw down. Which she would not, that responsibility would fall to Ronnie…..the reason for the check yo bitch rule. Second, he did not “hit her” her pushed her away, more on this later.
Rule Number 4- Check His Bitch
As the tension finally mounts and they are gonna drop blows on one another the blonde skank moves in as if she is going to fight. Again, another whore pretending she is gonna be the one to fight. She will not, cause she has a vagina and is useless. Ronnie does the right thing and tells the dick to check his bitch, as Ronnie follows “Man Code” to a T and will not hit a girl.
Rule Number 5- Smash That Shit!
Finally after all other options have been eliminated Ronnie destroys the adversary with a series of haymakers and skull hammers. I would love to have seen what this dickheads face looked like after getting mashed into the beautiful Jersey Boardwalk.
Rule Number 6 – Don’t Get Caught
Ronnie leaves the scene of the crime before the Po Po get there. Perfect
As we can see, Ronnie followed all rules of engagement to the letter and for that he should be commended.
The only failing grade came afterwards. After the fight Ronnie had every reason to be angry with his bitch for running her mouth and getting him into a fight, which he was. The problem was, after absolutely working that asshole from the bar, Ronnie then got worked by his walking vagina and crumbled like a sand castle when she said he “traumatized” her by “hitting” her. He nuzzled up to her and for some reason apologized. He will continue to fuck that ass, so it is understandable, but a disappointment none the less.
All in all Ronnie showed promise and clearly outlined “Man Code” to a younger, dumber generation.