Dear Douche: An Open Letter To Those Who Wear Sunglasses Indoors

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We wear our sunglasses at night and have low sperm cell counts

Dear Douche,

Can you please tell me why you are wearing sunglasses inside the bar? It’s not sunny and your not outside. Please know that everyone in here is laughing at you and calling you a total douche. I realize you have a little dick and no balls but the glasses only tells me you are have self-esteem issues and/or have been listening to The Game on audiobook as I know you are “turtle” group reader.
You are not interesting and the Ed Hardy shirt is not helping.

Please consider taking them off as you are ruining my buzz.

Thanks,
The DBJ

PS – Girls – you also are getting close to pissing me off with the size of your dumb glasses – stop trying to impress each other with your ability to copy some dumb skank you saw in US Magazine.

PSS – I give you a pass as I love your tits

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2 thoughts on “Dear Douche: An Open Letter To Those Who Wear Sunglasses Indoors

  1. I wear my “Jackie O’s” because if I don’t the fucking paparazzi will hunt me down like a coonhound on …..well, coon. Those stank heifers are copying me! So, I get a pass because I’m fucking awesome AND because I have even awesomer tits.

  2. Why is it important to you what others think of your attire?
    This post says more about you than indoor sunglasses wearers.

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