We at the DBJ admire the skill, training and lack of education it takes to use a service like Twitter to share secrets, tips and catch phrases. As most of us head back to school, let the learning begin by following the best pratices of 6 Professional Twitter D Bags.
Courting – Reach many women at once with a romantic poem or line/opener that works well for you – @AndyMilonakis Any sluts in Laguna Beach wanna get raped tonight?
Fandom – Show your support for a favorite artist by quoting their song or promoting a show – @MikeRosenstein “Whats the difference between sand and menstrual blood? You can’t gargle sand.” – Flo-Rida
Social Good – Push your fellow man to do more – @jordanrubin Dear nerds. It’s 2009. Everyone was supposed to have flying cars by now. I don’t wanna be a dick, but a deal’s a deal.”
Secrets – My mom always said that telling people personal things is a great way to connect and make them like you @SarahKSilverman – “Interesting fact about me: my vagina and asshole are completely odorless. Another interesting fact: my finger stinks. Weird!!”
Respect – Spend time with your elders and write down their thoughts as they will be gone one day and you will miss them – @shitmydadsays“The dog is not bored, it’s a fucking dog. It’s not like he’s waiting for me to give him a fucking rubix cube. He’s a god damned dog.”
Health – Taking care of yourself is criticaly important – @michaelianblack – “Decided to clean my urethra with Irish Spring to see if it would make my dick whistle: it did.”