Top 10 Things Seen and Heard in Provincetown

Here are the top 10 hottest things seen and heard this weekend in Provincetown

10.  NY License Plate that reads “Assman”

9.  Two guys holding hands and wearing matching shirts that read “Gay XXL”

8.  A 25 year-old man dressed in only a speedo, sunglasses and hat talking on the phone in the middle of a busy road – in his defense, it was a warm day and I was getting better reception in the car.

7. Lunch conversation overheard as follows: ” Guy #1″ Were you on the yacht last night” – #2 “What yacht, we stayed for the after hours party at the mansion” #1 “There was a better party on the yacht where there was tons of people and 7 private rooms” #2 “what was going on in the rooms (giggle)”  #1 “lots of sex silly” – Then I barfed, downed my juice & asked if they knew of a party happening tonight.

6.  Ellie, the transgender local starlet, belted out Sinatra atop a 4th of July parade float – in my head I thought back to the Pilgrims, who landed here so many years ago looking for personal freedoms,  and imagined that this is exactly how they would have celebrated.

5. The Northeastern University Mobile Health Unit giving FREE rapid HIV screenings on the main drag – nothing says July 4th like “You’ve  got HIV (said in a You’ve Got Mail AOL voice)

4. An 85 year-old policeman directing traffic who yelled at me for not barreling into a crowd of people = “Come on – They’ll move”

3.  A Mini-“Walk-off” in front of Marc by Marc Jacobs, performed by 2 gentleman who were too serious and very fierce.  I wanted to join in, more than I’d like to admit.

2. Thai restaurant that listed specialties as “Thai Orgy and Brokeback Mongolian Ribs” – we get it, while you had some trouble telling us how long the wait was, you clearly outsourced the menu to a local with a good “feel” for the clientele.

1. The guy handing out pamphlets for the A House – thought he was going to cause a traffic jam – Cos Cob Patriot would have been at full attention – boner joke alert

Editors Note: Please take your hatred elsewhere as no immature comments are welcome – its 2009, please act like it


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