The Crying Game, Susan Boyle & Premature Evacuation

What has 2 thumbs and loves donuts?A former roommate and I were out making it happen one night at a bar when we stumbled across two sophisticated women. Glances were exchanged, drinks were consumed and game was on display. Fast foreword a few hours and 2 couples stumbled out into the night and rushed on to an undisclosed location. Once out of the noisy bar, I noticed that my friend’s girl had a British accent
(and a huge ass), reminiscent of that Scottish singing sensation Susan Boyle. As he and Boyle went into the bedroom, I went to work on the couch with the other drunkard.

Roughly 10 minutes into the jaunt, Boyle comes storming out of the room and grabs my sofa slag by the hand and storms out of the apartment. This curiously didn’t surprise me, as it wasn’t the first girl to depart my friend’s room in tears. I was much too hammered to get upset but found myself wondering what had transpired.

The wastoid comes stumbling out of his room in nothing but his boxers and declares “she had a dik yo”. Then makes his way to the kitchen to prepare himself a sandwich like nothing had happened.

“Excuse me, did you just say what I thought you did?”

As it turns out, she didn’t have a dik just a British Accent, a flat stomach and the terrible misfortune of being paired up with a drunk retard who recently watched The Crying Game and prematurely evacuated.

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